Labour and delivery

I gave birth to my baby in June 2022. I did so much research, and a hypnobirthing course to prepare, with the goal of having an unmedicated physiological unassisted vaginal delivery. Things didn’t exactly go according to plan, lets just put it that way. Here’s a video of the labour and delivery..

My takeaways..

1. Early labour lasted 4 days

2. Active labour was faster and easier than I expected

3. Delivery became very scary very quickly

4. I didn’t get the golden hour postpartum experience I wanted, and I’m sure I’ll always grieve that. But me and my baby are alive and healthy and I’m very thankful for that.

Solo long-haul flying while pregnant

I flew alone from Mexico City to London to Aberdeen during my 3rd trimester (28 weeks). That’s almost 12 hours in the air, plus a few more on the ground, with baggage, at 7 months pregnant.

You’ll hear people saying that it’s not safe or you’re not allowed to travel during pregnancy (especially during your 3rd trimester) but that’s not exactly true. There are rules and guidelines to follow though. These are my tips based on my experience.

Don’t leave it too late

Rules vary by airline but in general you will not be allowed to fly after the 36th week (32nd week if you are pregnant with more than one baby) so book as far in advance before that as is suitable for you (in case of delays or cancellations, you don’t want to leave it too close and end up missing the “safety” window). Obviously every pregnancy is different, but (outside of the horror of the first trimester) the further along you are the more physical discomfort you’re likely to experience in terms of backache, heartburn, braxton hicks, etc. so bare that in mind. Long-haul travel (esp in economy) isn’t comfortable at the best of times and waiting until the very last minute might mean extra aches and pains that are bound to make it a bit of a miserable time.

Talk to your OBGYN or midwife before booking

Depending on how far along you are, what airline you’re flying with, and your physical condition you’re likely to require a letter from your health care provider stating whether your pregnancy is single or multiple, your expected due date, and that there are no complications with your pregnancy (or that they deem you safe to fly under your current condition). They’ll also hopefully be able to give you advice on how to stay healthy and comfortable during the flight, for example: wearing compression socks and getting up to walk around regularly to aid blood flow, staying hydrated, and maybe even be able suggest or prescribe pregnancy-safe travel medication if necessary.

Become a member of the airline

This is my biggest tip whether your pregnant or not. I join every membership of every airline I travel with. It’s free, and you’re more likely to get priority for free upgrades, the ability to choose your seat and meal preferences in advance, and collect points for future travel. In general I feel that I get a slightly better service since I’ve become a member, and because I travel back and forth from the UK to Mexico a couple of times per year it’s definitely worth it to get those points and privileges. The best thing for me is getting to choose my meal preferences (I’m vegan), especially when I’m pregnant I can’t afford to go a whole 10 hour flight without eating, so knowing that I’ll get suitable food means I don’t need to worry that the meals on general offer are going to be something I don’t like or can’t eat. Not to mention that “special meals” get served first, so less waiting time. I also have “aisle seat” chosen as my preference because I hate having to squeeze past a stranger every time I want to walk around or use the bathroom which is also extra helpful when you’re pregnant and have a baby using your bladder as a trampoline.

Travel light

Once the airline has flagged that you’re pregnant (esp if you’re quite far along and your bump is showing) they (or some kind stranger) may offer assistance with getting around the airport and carrying your bags, but there’s no guarantee* so be prepared to have to carry or push your baggage around alone. If you’ve got transport lined up or someone dropping you off and picking you up at the airport then checking the majority of your baggage and only taking light hand luggage might be the way to go. I like to feel like I have everything I need with me on the plane, and opted for my old-faithful carry-on backpack as my main luggage. That’s why, even more than usual, I tried to pack as little as possible and only travel with necessities. This time round I was staying in the UK for 5 months, and during that time would be giving birth, so there were things I needed to pack that I wouldn’t normally bring, which meant other things got left behind. I brought a “capsule wardrobe” of clothes that I knew would fit during pregnancy and the first few months after, even if it meant I’d be wearing the same thing over and over again. I stripped back my toiletries to the bare minimum, knowing that I could pick up anything extra like shampoo bars on the other side. And I made the decision to get all my baby stuff once I was in Scotland, and prepared for the flight back to be the one with extra checked baggage, instead of taking everything back and forth twice.

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

You might have heard that airlines will give you an upgrade if you’re dressed very well because they’ll think you’re wealthy or important. I asked my friends who work at check-in desks, who are flight attendants, and even pilots if this is true and every single one of them said no, it’s a lot more to do with if you’re travelling alone, if you’re a member, if you’re nice to the staff, if they need to redistribute weight on the plane, and if there are spare seats. So now I really don’t try to look a certain way when I travel because I know it doesn’t matter and comfort is way more important. I have a go-to plane outfit that consists of soft bamboo clothing, a big blanket scarf, compression socks, and slip-on shoes. Do I look good? No, probably not. Do I care? Also no.

*Be prepared not to get special treatment

As I said earlier, someone might offer to help, but they might not. So it’s important to be prepared to do do every stage alone if necessary. This was probably the biggest mistake I made - thinking other passengers and people in the airport would help me out, because they didn’t. For the most part, it’s fine, I have travelled frequently enough that I’m capable of taking care of myself. But when I reached the boarding gate I waddled along looking for a somewhere to sit and wait, saw that there was no space, and had to walk right back to the front. Not one person offered me their seat and I had to stand next to the boarding desk, with my bag on my back, for 30 minutes waiting to be allowed to board. Even once I did board, no-one offered to help lift my luggage into the overhead compartment, and when we landed I needed to ask someone to get it down for me. Again, no big deal, but even when I travelled no-pregnant someone would usually offer help with bags, so I was a little surprised. I think if I’d gone into it with a different mindset I wouldn’t have been so disappointed and annoyed by the other passengers attitudes.

It might feel daunting or scary to fly pregnant, long distance, or alone, especially if it’s the first time. Often we imagine all the worst case scenarios of all the things that could possibly go wrong. The truth is that airlines and flight attendants do not want anything bad to happen to you while you’re in their care, that’s bad for business, especially in the age of social media. They are trained in how to handle any number of emergencies, including pregnancy related ones, so personally I just focus on getting myself to and from the boarding gate, and trust that they’ll take care of the rest.

Trying to be an eco-friendly parent

One of the reasons that I initially I didn’t plan on making children was that I knew that bringing a new human into the world is one of the least environmentally-friendly things you can do in your life. Studies show that having one less (or no) child reduces your annual C02 emissions by 58.6 tonnes, which is more than if you were to recycle, be car-less, or use renewable energy. Every person on the planet uses the planets limited resources and contributes to greenhouse gasses. With everything I do to try to live as sustainable and eco-friendly life as possible, how could I justify doing something that I know has such a huge impact on the environment? I couldn’t. My logic was that for me, personally, it would be a purely selfish decision, I don’t NEED to create a baby, if I had felt a strong urge calling me to care for a child (which I didn’t anyway) I could open my life and my home to any of the many children in the foster care system. Therefore, I felt, that it would be better if I didn’t produce a biological child of my own.

So, now that I’ve found myself unexpectedly pregnant and preparing to raise a child, what can I do?

Take climate-positive action

I recently found a company called Ecologi (not sponsored), who, through a monthly subscription, help you offset your carbon footprint by planting trees and supporting carbon offsetting projects on your behalf (including providing hydro, wind, and solar power to communities around the world. ) There are individual and family plans, to account for the number of people in your home. I know that this alone is not enough, but I definitely think it’s a very helpful step, and at least (selfishly) helps me feel a little better about it all.

Buy and consume sustainably

Babies need things that most childless adults do not already own, like baby clothes, bottles, nappies, etc. Which means that when you’re preparing to welcome a new baby or child into your home you will inevitably need to buy things. Buying new things is kind of the opposite of the “sustainable living” philosophy. Especially things like plastic toys, disposable nappies and wipes, and children’s clothes, because they are only useful for a limited time, but end up spending hundreds or more years in landfill polluting the planet. So, to sustainably get everything the baby will need I’m trying to 1. buy/get as many items as possible second-hand, 2. buy anything else from environmentally responsible sources/ made from sustainable materials or 3. buy things with as long a life as possible (can be repurposed as needed with time) as to not contribute to unnecessary waste.

I’m lucky that my sister and cousins have had kids in the last few years and have always been kind enough to hand down things like clothes and strollers to whoever gets pregnant next, and my mum has faithfully stored these things in the off chance that I or anyone else would need them one day. So, that immediately takes a lot of pressure off the need to buy most newborn essentials. There are also a lot of great online marketplaces like Etsy (affiliate) where I can look for preloved items that I don’t have. In terms of furniture, I would have loved one of those bedside co-sleep bassinettes, but a baby can only sleep in them until 6 months, so it’s a short-lived product that I’d no longer use. Instead, I’ve been looking at adaptable wooden cots that can be modified for newborns, bigger babies, turned into a toddler bed, then into a day bed or couch, so that we can get many years worth of use out of it. For toys, we’re planning to keep it minimal. Other than gifts and hand-me-downs we’re only planning to have a handful of things that can be rotated in and out of use as the baby shows interest in them. I’ve been looking at things made from wood, crochet, or other sustainable materials that can see a baby through many stages of development. And for the nappy problem, I’m planning to use a combo of eco-friendly disposable nappies for the very early days, then move onto reusable ones, and then follow evacuation communication techniques to potty-train before they’re 1, so that we use as few nappies and wipes as possible.

Model eco-friendly lifestyle choices

More than just the things we buy, I want to be conscious about the daily choices we make in our life. I’m vegan, and my husband is plant-based, so naturally the baby will be raised plant-based until they’re old enough to make the decision to become vegan, stay plant-based, or become an omnivore. By that I mean, I plan to breastfeed for the first 2 years (or as long as I can until then) and provide the baby with baby-friendly versions of whatever it is that I cook for us at home. I plan to grow as much of our own produce as we can, upcycle and repurpose whatever we can, and include the child in as many household activities as possible so they learn how to “reduce, reuse, recycle” and “make, do, mend”. I plan to involve them in the activism work I do, like making free food to share with the community, or visiting animal sanctuaries and caring for rescue animals. I plan to teach our child about why we eat the way we do, why we use certain products, or why we avoid certain things. My hope is that if they grow up doing these things, learning these skills, and knowing the positive and negative impacts we can all have on the world, then when they go off on their own, they’ll continue to make eco-friendly choices and reduce their environmental impact too.

Now, I want to put a disclaimer saying that I AM NOT PERFECT! This plan/method is not going to be perfect! There is no way for me to be 100% sustainable and have zero negative impact, the majority of us will never be able to achieve that goal for as long as we have to exist in modern, capitalist society. However, my goal with this, as with all things, is to do my best and do as little harm as is practicable and possible in each situation. I never seek to shame or criticize other people for their choices or lifestyle as I don’t know anyone’s personal circumstances, and I know there’s a million reasons why something may or may not be possible for each person. I just try to share my personal experience or things that I’m learning in the hope that someone might find it interesting, or relatable, or useful.

Pregnancy Q&A